Meta-States: Thinking About Your Thinking

Several articles I shared on my old site came from NLP developer L. Michael Hall, Ph.D., some co-written with Bobby G. Bodenhamer, D.Min. They explored Hall’s Meta-States model, which grew out of his research into resilience in the 1990s. Rather than reproduce those articles, here is my own plain-English summary of the ideas I find most useful with clients.

Primary states and meta-states

A primary state is a response to something out in the world: fear when a dog growls, joy when a friend arrives. A meta-state is a state about a state: feeling ashamed of being afraid, anxious about feeling anxious, or calm about feeling nervous.

That second layer often matters more than the first. Feeling nervous before a presentation is normal. Feeling panicked that you’re nervous, and ashamed that you’re panicked, is what really spirals. The good news is that the higher layer is also where some of the most powerful changes can happen. Bringing acceptance, curiosity or humor to a difficult feeling can transform the whole experience.

“What stops you?”

One of Hall’s favorite questions is simply: “And what stops you from…?” For example, “What stops you from speaking up?” often uncovers a hidden rule, such as “If they get angry, everything will fall apart.” Once a rule is out in the open, you can examine whether it’s still true or useful.

Backing up before the pit

Hall also described a pattern drawn from Richard Bandler’s work: instead of struggling to climb out of an emotional pit, back up to the moments before you fell in. What were you thinking and feeling just before the anger or anxiety took over? Often there’s an earlier point where a different, more cheerful or resourceful choice was available. Practice choosing at that point, and you go around the pit rather than through it.

The thought behind the feeling

Like cognitive therapists Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck, Hall and Bodenhamer emphasized that behind most strong emotions lies a thought, belief or meaning. Gently “back-tracking” from the feeling to the thought that drives it can reveal what needs updating.

Identity as a verb

Another of Hall’s ideas I love: “identity” sounds like a fixed thing, but it’s really an ongoing process of identifying. You can ask: How have I identified myself? Where did that come from? Is it still accurate or useful? That simple shift from noun to verb opens up room to grow.

Try this

• Next time you feel a difficult emotion, ask: “How do I feel about feeling this?”
• Try bringing a kinder state to it: curiosity, acceptance or patience.
• Notice what changes.

These ideas blend naturally with hypnosis, where we can rehearse responding to old triggers from a calmer, more resourceful frame.

If you’d like to find out whether this approach is a good fit for you, I offer a free, no-pressure consultation. Get in touch here and we can talk it through.